


Is There Anyone Out There?

by romeoandjulietyouwish



Series: Lis Writes 9-1-1 [49]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Athena Grant Acting as Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parental Figure, Athena Grant and Bobby Nash are Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parents, Bobby Nash Acting as Evan "Buck" Buckley's Parental Figure, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Good Parent Bobby Nash, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Evan "Buck" Buckley, Post-Episode: s04e05 Buck Begins, Protective Athena Grant, Protective Bobby Nash, Worried Bobby Nash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:40:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29541114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romeoandjulietyouwish/pseuds/romeoandjulietyouwish
Summary: After Buck leaves Maddie's house, he can't be alone. Good thing there are some people who care about him a whole lot.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley & Athena Grant, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash
Series: Lis Writes 9-1-1 [49]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1725208
Comments: 15
Kudos: 236





	Is There Anyone Out There?

Buck doesn’t know if he can stand to be alone right now. He’s forgiven Maddie and his parents, though he still has rather complicated feelings about the whole situation. In ordinary circumstances, he would love nothing more than to go back to his apartment and crash on the couch. But tonight, some part of him screams for company, to not be left alone with his thoughts. He knows the second he leaves Maddie’s apartment that he will start to spiral. 

Buck hugs his sister goodbye, letting her kiss his forehead as she does, and tells her that he’ll talk to her tomorrow. She smiles at him and gives him another squeeze. When he gets in his car, Buck finds himself driving in circles around the blocks. With no direction, Buck’s mind can wander as he takes random lefts and rights. 

All he can think about is Daniel. Buck was never supposed to exist, his parents didn’t want another kid. Until they’d needed one to save their beloved son. 

He puts on a podcast, his most recent favorite about various exhibits in an English Museum. The story is interesting enough, something about a carved toy sheep, but even the soothing tones of the withered old man narrating can’t pull him from his mind. 

It feels as though he is teetering on the edge of a cliff, seconds away from having a single thought that pulls him straight over the side. So Buck turns up the music, he usually doesn’t listen to the radio, but right now he just needs something to block out all of his thoughts. That works for a little while, but eventually, Buck starts to think of the boy in the photograph. 

The brother he had never known. The brother he was born to save but couldn’t. 

He needs someone, he can’t be alone. His first thought is to go to Eddie, but upon checking the clock, he finds that he’s been driving around for far longer than he had thought. It’s around Christopher’s bedtime now and Buck doesn’t want to be the reason that Eddie has another sleepless night. And everyone else is with their families, he can’t barge into that time. 

Buck is just about ready to give up and drive back to his apartment, at least Albert is there. But he is saved from that by his phone ringing. He answers it without checking who it is, realizing immediately that it could have been his parents on the other line.

“Hello?” Buck asks. 

“Hey, kid,” Bobby’s voice comes through the speakers. “I just wanted to check in on you. I know you’ve had a rough couple of days.”

Buck laughs humorlessly. “You could say that again.” 

Bobby sighs, “Where are you?” 

Buck looks out the window for a street sign, “Uh, not far from your place. I’m just driving around, trying to clear my head.” 

“If you want, you could come over, Athena just got home from her shift so I’m making some food. You’re welcome to stop by.” 

“Are you sure?” Buck asks. “I don’t want to intrude.” 

Bobby laughs, “I invited you, Buckley, you’re not intruding. “You coming or not?” 

“Yeah, yeah I’ll be there in a few.” He pauses. “Thanks, Bobby.” 

“Of course.” 

With that, Bobby hangs up and Buck swings a left, changing his heading to Bobby and Athena’s place. On the short drive there, Buck cranks the music up again. Even with a direction in mind and something to think about, he can’t risk silence. His mind is far too loud and far too cruel for that. 

It only takes Buck a few minutes to get to his captain’s house. He parks on the side of the road and hops out, jogging up to the door. 

Buck knocks and within a few seconds, it swings open, revealing Athena on the other side. It’s clear that she’s fresh off shift, she still has makeup on her and her hair is still pulled back, but she’s wearing comfortable clothes. When she sees him, Athena immediately pulls him down into a hug. “How you doing, baby?” 

He sighs against her shoulder, “I’m okay.” She pulls back enough to look at his face and Buck can read clear on her face that she doesn’t believe him. He adds, “I talked to my parents and I talked to Maddie, all is forgiven.” 

Athena narrows her eyes at him slightly but pushes him lightly into the house. “Is May home?” Buck asks as he walks down into the living room. He can already smell good things coming from the kitchen. 

“No,” Athena says. “She’ll be home late tonight, past midnight.” Athena leans down and snags her cup of coffee from the table in the living room. “It’s her first shift this late so I figured I’d stay up to see her home.” 

Buck smiles, but it’s a little pinched around the eyes. Not for the first time he wishes he had parents who cared about him as much as Bobby and Athena do their children. 

“Hey, Buck!” Bobby calls from the kitchen. 

Buck smiles and walks into the kitchen. He finds Bobby scooping piles of pasta, meat, and a few vegetables onto two plates. “Looks great, Bobby,” Buck compliments, accepting the plate Bobby passes to him. 

Bobby shrugs as he hands the second one to Athena, “It’s not my best work, but it’ll do in a pinch.” 

The three of them sit down at the table, Bobby with a cup of water instead of food. Buck and Athena begin eating, and Buck can feel his captain’s eyes on him. But Bobby doesn’t say anything, not until Buck is almost done with his plate. 

“Be honest with me, Buck,” Bobby folds his hands and leans on the table to look at Buck, “how are you feeling after everything in the past few days?” 

“I’m fine,” Buck shrugs. “Like I told Athena, I forgave my parents and Maddie, everything is just peachy.” 

Bobby sighs, “Your friends seem to think otherwise.” He shows Buck his phone and on the screen is a list of texts from Hen, Chimney, Eddie, even Maddie. He didn’t know Maddie had Bobby’s number. “They all asked me to check on you because they knew you wouldn’t accept it from anyone else.” 

Buck leans back in his chair and gestures to the table, “This is a setup, isn’t it? To get me to talk about my feelings?”

“No.” Athena reaches across the table and takes his hand. “We all care about you, Buck. We can see that you’re not as good as you say you are.” 

Buck stands, “Thanks, but I really am fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He starts to move towards the door, but as he walks into the living room, Bobby grabs his arm. 

“Wait a minute,” Bobby says gently. He tugs Buck back around to face him and before Buck knows what’s happening, Bobby pulls him into a tight hug. Buck is stiff for a long moment, but when he realizes that Bobby isn’t letting go any time soon, he returns the hug. 

It only takes a few seconds for Buck to start crying. He clings to Bobby so tightly, he’s sure he’s hurting him, but Bobby doesn’t comment on it. For the longest time, Buck has secretly thought of Bobby like a dad. It’s hard not to make that comparison after how long they’ve known each other, after Bobby’s shown up at Buck’s bedside every single time he ended up in the hospital, and the way Bobby looks out for him in a way he doesn’t for the rest of the team. But here and now, having all but cut himself off from his parents, Buck feels as though this is the closest he will ever have to have a real dad. 

His dad never gave him hugs like this, he never comforted him like Bobby is doing now: rubbing his back, whispering nonsense calming words. 

And Buck sobs. 

He’ll care later about embarrassing himself in front of his captain and a woman he greatly admires, but right now all Buck can think about is how good it feels to have someone care for him like this. To have someone _love_ him like this. 

Eventually, Buck steps back, forcing Bobby’s arms to fall away. He looks at the floor and wipes his eyes on his sleeves. When he finds the strength to look up at Bobby, he finds a great deal of worry in Bobby’s eyes. Over his shoulder, Buck can see Athena clearing away the plates on the table and putting away the leftovers from dinner. 

“Sorry,” Buck says hoarsely. 

Bobby shakes his head, “You don’t have to be sorry. Why don’t you sit down?” Buck nods and sits on the couch beside Bobby. “How are you feeling?” 

Buck laughs, “Messy.”

“I get that.” Bobby gives him a supportive smile. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

Buck runs a hand over his hair, “I don’t even know where to begin. I-I forgave my parents, but I don’t know if I can ever truly forgive them for everything. But it’s so hard to be angry with them because all they wanted was their son, and I...I just wasn’t enough.” 

“Hey.” Bobby puts a hand on Buck’s shoulder. “That is not true. You are enough, your parents just couldn’t see past their grief.” Bobby takes a deep breath. “Can I tell you something, Buck?” He nods. “In a way, I can understand your parents. Loving May and Harry felt impossible after Brook and Robert died. But I healed. Just because I loved Brook and Robert doesn’t mean there’s less room in my heart for May or Harry. Your mom and dad couldn’t do that, they couldn’t heal.” Bobby squeezes his shoulder. “It is not your fault that Daniel died and it is not your fault that your parents never stopped grieving.” 

Buck shakes his head, “I was born with a single purpose: save Daniel. And I couldn’t even do that.” 

“No one has a single purpose in life,” Athena says as she sits on his other side. “You are so much more than your parents believe.” He looks up at Athena with teary eyes and she gives him a sad smile before reaching out and hugging him close. “You need to give yourself time,” she says. “You found out a bunch of life-altering information this week, give yourself time to process it. You can’t expect yourself to bounce back right away.”

“And we’re always going to be here, Buck,” Bobby puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes a little bit. “If you want to talk or a hot meal or a couch to crash on or even just some company, Athena and I are here for you.” 

“I love you,” Buck says weakly.” Athena presses a kiss to his forehead. 

“We love you too, Buckaroo.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!
> 
> Tumblr- @evanbuckley-heartofgold


End file.
